This fall I could barely walk. I thought I had another case of the gout because the pain in the big toe on my right foot was excruciating. At this point in time I had not completely given up overindulgences in coffee, expensive beer, mint chocolate chip ice cream, and cake. For most of last summer I had been doing so well, especially after training hard for and competing in the SEA Paddle NYC Race. A few days after the 26.5 mile jaunt around Manhattan I got engaged. Getting engaged should only happen a few times in someone's life (tee hee I kid, Gracie, I kid) so I took such a special occasion as an excuse to party with friends and family. The great shape I had gotten in disappeared quick then the pain in my toe started. I feared the gout had set in once again.
I was wrong. All it was was an ingrown toenail. For a couple days I tried to poke and prod my way into feeling better but was unable to ease any of the pain. The Sandbridge Hei Hei race was not far off so I wanted to train hard but the pain in my toe was not allowing me to put a lot of pressure on my right foot. If you are a SUP enthusiast you understand how important toes are for support and balance. To rectify the situation I decided to check out an Express Care in Chesterton, Indiana.
I was the only patient at the Express Care so they brought me in as soon as I filled out the required paper work. The doctor was a young attractive blond and the nurse was pretty easy on the eyes as well. I didn't think the experience was so bad. Within 20 minutes I was out the door and on my way home to rest for a day before being able to get back on the water. I paid $250.00 up front in case my horrendous "catastrophe only" health insurance refused to pick up any of the bill, which I assumed would happen and it did.
In the middle of October I received a bill from Porter Regional Hospital for over $1100.00. Now, if you don't think the state of our health care system needs reform then go to an Express Care and have an ingrown toenail removed. I wrote Porter Regional Hospital a letter and asked them to explain how in the world a simple procedure such as cutting off the side of a toenail in rural Indiana could be more expensive than a root canal in downtown Chicago. I knew the cost of both because both happened to me within a 45 days of each other. I received a call from a nice lady who said someone would look into the matter and the bill would be adjusted. They knocked off around $200.00. Now I owe Porter Regional Hospital $778.00 for a procedure that I should have let Gracie take care of with a utility knife and a bottle of rail vodka, which would have only cost her family's bar, the Old Town Ale House, about $2.63. That bill I could have paid off in a month or two.
The point of this story is that I cannot afford to have simple health issues attended to by large corporations. I need to live my daily life taking careful consideration of how I treat EVERY part of my body. Back in September 2012 I found out how important it is for an athlete to have healthy toes, which leads me back to yesterday - date day.
Gracie took me to get my first pedicure ever at the nail salon next to the Old Town Ale House. I hate feet and I don't like to be touched and therefore I would hate for someone to have to touch my own feet. However, after having to go into more debt in order to pay to have an ingrown toenail worked on by a professional I decided that prevention was necessary.
Am I glad I did it...yes. Will I ever get a pedicure again...yes. Did I hate every second of it...yes.
Needless to say Gracie had more fun on our date than I did. I could hear her giggling as I constantly squirmed in my chair, but such are the sacrifices I make to make my wife happy. Insert very important slogan here that I have become all too familiar with as of late: happy wife = happy life.
The pedicure was torture, but I have never been able to cut my toenails in a straight line. The pedicure cost $30.00 including tip and I walked out of the nail salon feeling like I was walking on air. Today at the gym I felt no discomfort in my toes as I went like lightning on the treadmill. For the last two weeks I had been feeling quite a bit of discomfort running and knew I had to do something before having to deal with another toenail issue. I grabbed toenail clippers and thought about trying to take matters into my own hands but all my attempts to correct matters didn't feel like solutions. I needed professional help so I put on sunglasses, trench coat, and a fedora and slinked behind Gracie to the nail salon.
I may not be all excited and jumping up and down about pedicures and trips to the nail salon but I like having happy toes. Toes are vital parts of the lifestyle I have chosen. Maybe my terrible toenails were the reasons why I fell so much in the Surf to Sound Race and the Orange Bowl Paddle Championships (or maybe it was just bad balance). Nevertheless, I must recommend the pedicure experience to anyone who has feet and wants to use them in athletic pursuits. If you have any discomfort in your tippy toes get thee to a nail salon. Do it! Luckily for me I think my wife enjoyed our date to the nail salon so much that she will be happy to take me for another date next time I feel the slightest tinge of discomfort in any of my toes. That will be $30.00 of my our money that I can stash away for another paddle!
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